Saturday, August 29, 2009

Atheist entrepreneurs

Are you a sinner, an unreconstructed reprobate? Do you like animals? Then you're needed in the newest, fastest growing service industry: Atheists offer to care for Christians' pets after the Rapture ! "It's a question that all animal-loving Christian evangelicals must address: who will look after their pets on Earth when the Rapture comes and they are taken up to heaven?... All the atheists signed up by Eternal Earth-Bound Pets are self-confessed sinners and blasphemers, guaranteeing they will be left behind when the chosen are selected."

From the Eternal Earth-Bound Pets faq page :
"Q: Is this a Joke? A: No. This is a serious offer to our Christian friends who believe in the Second Coming and honestly care about the future of their pets after the Rapture occurs.

Q: Do YOU believe in the Rapture. A: As atheists we do not hold beliefs in the supernatural or a divine being. Thus, we do not believe in the Rapture. However, we respect the beliefs of others and are open to the possibility that our perspective could possibly be wrong.

Q: How do you ensure your representatives won't be Raptured. A: Actually, we don't ensure it, they do. Each of our representatives has stated to us in writing that they are atheists, do not believe in God / Jesus, and that they have blasphemed in accordance with Mark 3:29, negating any chance of salvation.

Q: Can I meet or communicate with my rescue representative? A: Sorry, No. Our representatives' information are held in strict confidence."

Hmmm... I wonder if our CUUPS group can get a franchise...

1 comment:

Strange Attractor said...

Very clever idea.

You have just made me realize that if I am wrong and they are right I'm going to inherit my parents energetic blacks labs after the Rapture. Sheesh! Now I'm really hoping there is no Second Coming.