Thursday, February 16, 2006

To do, or not to do

At my small group meeting last night, we discussed the possibility of holding spirituality classes as a service to the church at some future date. After all, who better knows what's lacking than the people who felt that lack so strongly they formed a small group around it? Most of the obligations I've assumed over the years have had that motivation- I'm the one who complained; it's only just I be the one to fix it. But now in middle age, finding myself stretched ever thinner, I'm beginning to question that ethic. I want a better cheeseburger than the one served across the street from work at lunch, too- does that obligate me to open a diner? Where is the balance?

At what point should I in fact step forward and fix it myself, and at what point am I justified in just demanding people do their jobs better? On one hand, I've been disgusted all my life by people who are always demanding more and better services, but have never worked an election or done a minute of volunteer work in their lives- I don't want to even be in the same port city as they, let alone the same boat. On the other hand, I have a recurring nightmare I call "Salems Lot", because in it I'm the only human in a world on vampires, and they know it, and won't let me die. I must find the balance between seeing myself as a whiner and draining myself into Salems Lot.

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